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jeremys2211

Bot the fuck?


  • BOT THE F**K? I think I may have found the reason why I am not having much luck with my job hunting. As well as hounding you good folk on a regular basis, I also ventured to drop my net in the murky waters of the job search sites. No, I’m not going to say which ones. I’m not on a witch hunt. I just wanted to share my own personal experiences. When I joined these sites, I was asked to fill in some details, upload my CV etc. I should point out that my resume states categorically (and in the first line I might add) that I am a multi award-winning advertising creative/copywriter with over 23 years’ experience in the industry. Anyway, moving on. Next I was asked to type in the keywords that match my title. I duly put in Copywriter. The aggregators got to work, scouring the net for jobs that matched my profile and keyword search. Here then, for your viewing pleasure, are some of the tempting options that the brilliant bots have put before me. It is perhaps worth mentioning that many of these jobs are prefaced with the following phrase. Based on your resume, we think you’d be a great fit for this job. Digital Graphic Designer. Not off to a great start, are we? But at least it is the correct industry, I guess. APAC – Knowledge Lawyer – Healthcare Hmm. Law degree required. Did you see a law degree anywhere on my resume, Mr. Bot? Specialist Paediatrics/Paediatrician WTF? How do you get from copywriter to paediatrician? Anyway, in the spirit of being open to anything, I applied for this. Still waiting to hear back, but between you and me, I’m quietly confident. Marketing and Event Coordinator – Mandarin Speaking I just checked my resume to see if I speak Mandarin. Turns out I don’t. Weekend Weather Presenter. I shit you not. About from the fact I have zero meteorological experience, (my cv is quite clear on this) I’m also slightly aggrieved that the bot didn’t deem me worthy of a crack at the Weekday Weather slot. Stormwater Engineer. My personal favourite. Here were some of the criteria. A Civil Engineering Degree. – Don’t have that. 4+ years’ experience working in a design consultancy. - Or that. Proficiency in civil design packages for design on buildings projects. - Nope Previous hydraulic engineering experience beneficial – Damn, and I was so close. Musician – Australian Army I must say, I was surprised that the bot thought this a good fit for me. For one thing, I don’t play any musical instruments and can’t read music. Equally bewildering, however, is the fact that I am currently of an age where the only army that would seriously consider me is Dad’s Army. Anyway, not a long post today. I have to dash. I’m late for my meat packing job in Hobart.



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