Pens at dawn

Forgive me.

I’m a tad emotional at present.

You see, I’ve just recently found out that my job was cheating on me.

We had been going steady for over four years and I had put a great deal of time, effort and love into ensuring we were in a good, nay great, place.

I was thoughtful, I was attentive, and I was loyal.

Turns out, I was also being cuckolded.

Yep, I shit you not. My ‘loving’ job, whilst greedily devouring everything I had to give, was also, simultaneously engaging in a flirtation with another suitor.

A smooth talking and eminently plausible young fellow by the name of Chat GPT.

Now I don’t know exactly what honeyed words “Chat” used to lure my job away from me. I have visited his site, and whilst he talks in natural language, understands questions and is more or less logical, I saw little to suggest he had the literary wherewithal to capture my pretty job’s heart.

But capture it he did. Possibly by repeating the words ‘cheaper and ‘faster’ on high rotation. Words that, as we all know, are music to an agency’s ears.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I was out of a job. And I was pissed.

Now, what many of you may not know about me is that I am a student of history. And it was to history that I now turned in my darkest hour.

And I quickly found the answer.

For nigh on 600 years, (until the advent of the flintlock pistol) a gentleman who felt his honour impugned could challenge the offending party to a duel with swords.

The one who survived (or emerged with the least injuries) was declared to be the winner and morally vindicated in the eyes of God.

Well, if it was good enough for them, it’s good enough for me.

And so it is that I now publicly, in front of all you good people, challenge Chat GPT to a duel.

For weapons I suggest we use pens, which as everyone knows are mightier than the sword.

I know not whether I shall win or lose. Frankly, the outcome is immaterial. The important thing to me, sirrah, is that honour must be seen to be satisfied.

Chat GPT, I look forward to your response. And, if God wills it, to kicking your bot.